literature

Phan: Obsession

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Literature Text

Title: Phan: Obsession
Author: Phan-Sooriginal
Warnings: swearing? yes definatly swearing!

"FUCK YOU! FUCK! FUCK! SHIT! BOLLOCKS! I FUCKING HATE YOU! FOR FUCK SAKE! FUCKING HELL! PISS OFF YOU TIT WANKING STUPID DICKHEAD OF A PERSON! GO DIE IN HELL"
"Dan.. Dan. DANNNNNNN!"
"What!?"
"Calm down."
"How can I!?!?"
"Just because Luigi beat you?"
"Shut up, I need to get something."
"Like the ability to win a game."
"Fuck off."

-30 minutes later-
What is going on in Dan's room?
I've been hearing loud crashing and thuds for the past 20 minutes, I mean it's only a video games.
"What is going on in here Dan?"
"Where has it gone? I swear I left it in here? Somewhere. Try the cupboard one last time." I was shocked at the state of Dan's room, it's usually so clean and spotless and but it looks like the Tasmanian Devil was unleashed here on Red Bull and his speech is all ragid.
"DAN!"
"WHAT? ... Sorry, I didn't mean to snap."
"What was the noise for?"
"I can't find my Jaffa Cakes." He seemed on edge what was wrong with him today?
"Your seriously getting all annoyed over.. JAFFA CAKES?"
"Shut up Phil, it's like a comfort food, you wouldn't understand."
"I have a comfort food, but Dan this is weird."
"Yeah, as I said YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!"
"Calm down, I'll buy you some."

Seeing how on edge Dan was I sprint to the shops, at full speed. I wondered what has happened to Dan as quickly as one foot went infont of the other, I mean I know he likes his Jaffas but this is creepy, freaky even. I swear co-op is a rip off £1.80 for 12 Jaffas! When I finally get back home Dan has wreaked nearly the whole house, the only that hasn't been touched in my room, just looking for those orange fuckers.

The second he sees me he runs toward the white bag and destroys the packaging, tearing it into the smallest pieces to get to his nu,ber 1 prize, but the second his lips touch the spongy base he's back to normal Dan, the Dan I was having a laugh with 40 minutes ago.
"Dan I think you have an addiction."
"Phil.. You can't get addicted to chocolate." Just stopping myself putting an Idiot at the end.
"I'm not so sure."
"YOU CAN'T, you can get addicted to gambling, sex, drugs, but chocolate, pft, show me one good example!"
"Trust me I think you are a really good example, watching the way you needed those sweets proves you can. You need help.."
Then his eyes, looked like they were gonna shatter, and he broke down on to my shoulder.
He was like a vampire and chocolate is what was keeping him from going insane.
"I'm never eating chocolate again."

'Well, maybe..' was the bit my brain didn't hear.
Me and Georgia were talking about my obsession with Jaffa Cakes (and cookies!), and this got created

Hope you like it:')
© 2012 - 2024 collidewiththesirens
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ilovephan's avatar
this was awesome but didnt dan say he didnt like jaffa cakes?
this is still awesome :)